I worry about this. What if what I'm doing is not enough? Am I serving enough? Am I loving enough? The easy answer to these questions is no. There's nothing I can do to be enough; God is Who's enough. He sent His Son Jesus to be enough for me. I am nothing. It is by God's grace that I will live eternally with him. I can't help but think though, what impact, what impression, am I leaving on this world?
There are times where I get a glimpse of how different my life would be if a close friend or family member died. It terrifies me, yet it comes up a lot. There's nothing I can do to prevent them from dying, but I can enjoy them while they're here. And I can tell them how much they mean to me. I find a loss for words when I try to tell my friends my life would end if theirs did. Call me clingy, but I love SO many people. I don't have to know you very well to earnestly care about what's going on in your life. My heart aches for people I can't help, for people that were made "different" than what we would consider "normal."
I want to stop living for myself and start living for what's worth it. I don't want to live selfishly. I don't want to be a "lukewarm" Christian. I don't want to live in worry. I want to trust that God knows what's best for me. I want to trust that His Will will be done. I want to love others and serve others, because Jesus came not to be served, but to serve. I want to be the light of Christ. I want others to see Him through me. I want people to come to Jesus.
So maybe this is my Christmas wish, or my New Years' resolution. I don't know. I just want to start living radically, and for a purpose. Revival starts now.
"So, because you are lukewarm--neither hot nor cold--I am about to spit you out of my mouth."
Revelation 3:16
"The earth is the Lord's, and everything in it. the world and all who live in it."
Psalm 24:1
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