I Can't Do it All

I realized something today... I can't do it all. I always want to be better than everyone around me, even though I've already failed at this. I surround myself with 4.0 students, and I work really hard to be just like them, but I can't. I can't do it all. I can't be in band, keep myself healthy by being in sports, have a social life, be involved, have a job, and get perfect scores on every tests. I just can't do it!

I can't take every honors and advanced class I want to because maybe my brain just isn't at that level yet. And maybe I can't handle the stress either. Because lately, I haven't handled stress that well. I freak out and avoid people when I can.

I can't do it all because I'm only in high school, and I'm supposed to be enjoying it, right? Not just freaking out and stressing about everything. I should be working on bettering myself, and getting depression or high blood pressure from stressing too much isn't making myself any better, {even if I haven't gotten those side effects yet}.

I can't do it all because I know that I'm not spending enough time with God, and that upsets God. He wants me to be in His Word every day and talk to Him on a regular basis, but with so much to do, it becomes easy to push Him aside. And that's not right. I should start with God and work my schedule around Him.

So maybe I can't do it all. Maybe I'm not perfect. Maybe I can't always do what I want. But in the end, is any of this going to matter in heaven? No, and that's why I need to be more focused on God to understand His plan for me.